Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
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It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just want to make out with him forever
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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