oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize