I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
