A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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