2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
