I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize