just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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