is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
