Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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