i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
