Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
