just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
