I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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