I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
