she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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