Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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