Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Welp...herpes.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
