I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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