New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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