I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
