You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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