As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
