I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
