You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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