I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
