As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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