I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
