I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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