We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize