it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
