just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
