Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
