I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize