Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I want to have your abortion
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
