I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
