You work out of a Hotel?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The Olympian is in my bed
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
