just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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