i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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