Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize