i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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