Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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