he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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