i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
