My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
