1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
