i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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