I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
