I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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