I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
