Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
