Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
