Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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