he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
