Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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