I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
