Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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