Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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