you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
