i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
