Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
