don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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