quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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