is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
