the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
