They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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