North Korea, Best Korea!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
