What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
