Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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