I'm going to jail i love you
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize