I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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