Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
