Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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