i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Let's get the cat blown out
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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