Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
