Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
