so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
