Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
