Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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