The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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