i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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